CARLES: Hello people, we are going to start the meeting now. Lets go around the circle and say our names and why we’re here. I’ll start. My names is CARLES, I had nowhere to vent so I made HRO, now I can’t stop posting articles or rants because I’m addicted to getting the comments and reading them. We’ll go with you next.

BROFUCKER: Heyo, Im da brofucker here. I guess it all started with daddy issues way back in the day. He <3 me too much or something IDK rly. I started to experiment with boys, and couldn’t take the hipsters with their teeny peens. So I came to HRO to find some normal guys. At first it didn’t work out, and I was getting more and more attention from more and more blogs, and I was addicted. Finally after learning the difference between an ALTBRO and a ‘bro’ I can find guys who are willing to rape me once the door is even half closed, no more trolling tumblr for me!!! Thanks for showing me the light HRO ANONYMOUS!

Barack Brobama: Hey Yalls. Brobama here with another week. I relapsed. CARLES posted an article about Chili’s and getting a job there, and questioning the human experience and I had to look. That’s not the worst part. Its not even like I just read the first page I read all three… AND THEN REBLOGGED IT!

Barack Brobama starts crying.

CARLES goes to comfort Brobama, gives him a butt pat.

Franklin Chillano Broosevelt: Hey there Brobama, don’t worry. To all you entry level kids here for the first time, I am Franklin Chillano Broosevelt. I am srsly lyke the smartest blogger ever. I am two hundred years old and I don’t understand how I got to this site. I was looking using my Chinese Google phone to find a place to “fixie my bikey” as I typed it in and ended up here after clicking “I’m feeling lucky” because when are you not feeling lucky? Reluctantly I came, and came back. I blogged, I changed the netspeak into Chinese! Mandarin! Like the chicken! I programmed those ads that were taking up the pages on HRO! T’was not CARLES! I was doing it to me the mega troll!!! Now after coming to HRO Anonymous meetings I can safely say that with the support of these other HRO addicts and trolls, finding my place in the world is right here. Thank you.

CARLES: K so, I guess u still cum 2 da site, but w/e.

H.D. Broreau: AS DO I!

CARLES: W/e. Don’t even get ur refrence.

culturalterrorist: WELL I DO!

Room looks at culturalterrorist.

culturalterrorist: NOT REALLY! IT KINDA REMINDS ME OF THE ALBUM “AURORA BOREALIS” BY THE SHIT BAND ‘CLOUD CULT’ WHO DID THE FIRST E-SURANCE SONG!

H.D. Broreau: Is this the guy who makes different names and flames himself alone all day?

CARLES: I never reveal information to 3rd parties.

H.D. Broreau: I’ll invite u 2 da partie dis time. U got the FB?

CARLES: Yup this is the guy.

culturalterrorist: WHEN I FIRST STARTED COMING HERE I DIDN’T ‘GET IT’ THEN I FINALLY ‘GOT IT’ AND ‘FIT IN’ SOMEWHERE. MY FRIENDS DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING, I WAS HIDING THE COMPUTER SCREEN FROM THEM, I EVEN CREATED THIS TUMBLR JUST TO STALK HRO PEOPLE CUZ THEY ALL HAD TUMBLRS, I AM THE MOST RELEVANT TREND HOPPER EVAR! In all srsly-ness, tho, after HRO (which I created for myself so I could find salvation) ANONYMOUS, I started to only use 2 names per HRO post that I commented on. And they would be relevant references, not something 2 indie 4 ne1 2 ‘get it’.

EPISODE 2 LATER - OR SOMETHING